06 February 2011

A Night Out On The Town

This is my first blog entry since moving back to Dunedin for the year.
Very exciting.
So last night I went to my first ever hen's night. It was a lot of fun.
There were many laughs to be had, especially because I am so immature when it comes to the sorts of things you would do at a hen's night. I'm sure you could think up some scandalous things on your own, they actually weren't that bad at all, I am just waaaay more immature than I ever realised.
But its all in good fun.
The part that got me about last night was when we went to town so the Bride-to-be could complete these crazy missions that all of the party guests thought up.
Now, I hadn't been to town since I gave up alcohol for good back in July 2010, so this was quite strange going back to these places I'd only ever been to while intoxicated. I was also wearing a nice dress and heels, like the majority of other girls in the group.
We got a few random yells and what not, which you would expect from people, but what bothered me more than the sleazy drunk guys were the insecure-looking girls wearing tiny little dresses that barely covered anything.
I could see that these girls were out on a Saturday night trying to find some sort of acceptance, whether that was by "having fun" (i've done it and it wasn't fun for me) drinking and dancing with their friends or if it was by finding a guy who would give them the attention that they craved. It could easily have been both.
I saw a lot of people in different clubs just sitting there on a couch. Looking pretty uninspired.
Why?! Why can't they see that they don't have to go out to the clubs to have a good time. It doesn't look like they are having a good time.
I did the clubbing thing, it isn't that great.
It's pretty tiring and gets tedious after a while.
If people want to have a dance, that's fine. But why do so many people go out with the intention to get wasted off their face? Is it to forget about their problems? Is it so they are confident enough to go out dressed in barely anything and find a guy who doesn't actually have their best interests in mind at all but only really cares about scoring a chick for the night?
It is so sad.
I didn't cry about it last night like I have done in the past, but my heart goes out to these people.
I want to tell these girls that Jesus loves them SOOOO MUCH! That He has an amazing plan for their life, that they are treasured princesses of the most High God who only wants the best for them.
They don't have to be out here looking for self-worth in all the wrong places.
I only find my worth in God. Nothing else that I do is going to make me feel as special as I do when I think about how much God loves me and created me for a purpose, as He has for everyone else.
I realise now that I have a real heart for telling the people who are out on the town about God and how much of a change Him being in your life can make.
So that is my plan for this year... and the following years.
God bless everyone who bothers to read this, you are awesome haha :-)

02 February 2011

My Summer In Kaitaia

Yep it is over at last.
When I first left Dunedin I was really upset. I didn't tell many people but when I first got home my dad forgot me at the airport. The minute I touched down in Kaitaia I started crying and didn't stop for about twenty minutes.
As most people know, I am quite an emotional person and cry easily if I'm upset.
By the time my dad finally arrived at the airport I was still crying. Random people at the airport were trying to console me, offering me rides home while I just cried.
Cried and cried and cried.
My dad didn't understand why I was crying. He was only twenty minutes late, big deal! Whats the problem?
But it wasn't about him being late. I knew that being back in Kaitaia meant I was going to be alone most of the time, and it was going to be a struggle just to get by everyday with nothing to do but work on the farm and watch movies all day. It doesn't sound that bad, but I'm used to being in an environment with people around me all the time. I like being able to visit people, and have people want to visit me.
Kaitaia is the opposite.
I do have a small number of friends left in the town, but there are only so many conversations you can have with them. Once the standard: 'What have you been doing with your year?' is over, there isn't too much else.
So the first month of my stay in Kaitaia was really hard.
It helped that I started helping out my church's youth band every friday, it gave me something to do and people to talk to (13 and 14 year olds mainly, but I wasn't going to complain)
My birthday was pretty average. Much less depressing than the previous year, but I was still sad that the majority of my friends were not sharing the day with me. A few of them weren't even in the country and I had no way of talking to them.
A lot of my old friends didn't say a word to me on my birthday. Friends I used to have in Kaitaia. That sucked.
I haven't even seen a whole bunch of people I used to be friends with in Kaitaia the whole time I've been back.
Stuff like that really gets to me and upsets me, but I realise that its just a part of life and I have to stop being caught up on it. Its not my job to try and maintain every friendship I ever had when life takes us in complete different directions and they end up being strangers to me.
I have to learn to let it go.
It wasn't until I went on the Nelson Beach Project that I started to feel happy again. I was around some of my friends from Dunedin, and made heaps of new friends with people that seemed to understand me and enjoy my company. I started playing my music in front of large crowds which really helped to boost my confidence.
It seemed that my summer was starting to turn around.
The night I came home from Nelson, I met a group of young people from the YWAM school in Matamata who were running a Kid's programme at church, which I helped with. It was super fun, and once again gave me something to do with my time.
After the YWAMers left, I started to fall back into my apathetic mood that I had for my first month in Kaitaia, but thankfully I was able to keep myself busy with packing up my childhood room and working on the seven songs I managed to write over the past two months.
Today is my last day in Kaitaia.
It is fair to say that while it started out pretty rough, I have managed to have a great time, but I still miss Dunedin and everything it stands for and am very excited to return.
I am glad that I was able to form a connection with my local church here, and I am looking forward to coming back and visiting my friends in the Youth Band. I am leaving Kaitaia in a much better mood than last time, and this makes me happy.
I feel that God has really worked in my life this summer, and for that I am grateful.
Seeing Him heal my grandma was awesome, and also just seeing what an impact He has on other people's lives has been eye-opening and inspiring.
So God bless Kaitaia, you aren't as bad as I sometimes say you are.
And I will see you again soon.

01 February 2011

Just an example of how awesome God is

I haven't really told this to many people but a little over a week ago my Grandma got appendicitus (she's 83, its uncommon but obviously can happen). She got taken to Whangarei hospital where they did nothing for 40 hours. My dad was very upset by this so phoned them and told them how this whole thing was gonna work, if-ya-know-what-I-mean. After they got a talking to by him they went to operate on her to take out the appendix. By this point, the appendix had perforated (started to tear open, allowing all the puss and gross stuff to enter into the rest of the body). The operation went well and my Grandma got sent back to Kaitaia hospital where she stayed for a while. All this time my Grandma looked TERRIBLE! Really pale and disorientated = not a good sight. When she finally came home she was still in a lot of pain and not looking very good.
She was covered in a rash because it turns out she is allergic to morphine, which she was on to help ease some of the pain. During this time my little brother was praying for God to heal her, but it didn't seem to be working. I also prayed for her to be healed before I went to bed, just because I thought I may as well do it. Two days ago my dad finally decided that we had to take her back to the hospital because she was still in heaps of pain and looking terrible with that rash all over her. When they did blood tests at Kaitaia hospital they found out that she had started to get sepsis because of all the appendix gunk that was released into her body after it was perforated. Soooo.. bad sign. A woman of her age can die from sepsis so this was quite worrying.
My parents drove my grandma to Whangarei hospital.
That night around 12:00am, according to my Grandma, she felt a hot burning sensation enter her body on the side where the appendix is, swish around, and then leave again.
The next morning they did scans and stuff, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with her.
All the infection was gone.
Just like that.
How exactly do you explain that other than to acknowledge the fact that the Lord healed my Grandma? It is so amazing!!! It just goes to show that if you pray, He really will help you out if that is His will.
All glory be to God!