The Friend Ship, Friendship Plant, and Other Metaphors

I can’t write funny blogs all the time.

I’m SORRY!!!!

This is probably not going to be funny. But maybe you will find some humour in it... somehow...

So today’s blog entry, which is about two months too late I am sad to say, (I was managing one blog entry a month until I ruined it by missing out August. Grrr), IS ABOUT something I have been quite obsessed with for the better part of the last two years.

Friendships.

They come and go, like a literal friend-ship. A ship full of friends. Sometimes there are a lot of people on the friend ship, other times there aren’t so many. It probably depends on you.

But the fact of the matter is, you cannot maintain every friendship you’ve ever created. It just isn’t possible.

I have lost many of my friendships with people from my hometown and school. If you are reading this and you were one of these people, this shouldn’t really come as a surprise to you.... I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. It is sad. I used to feel really cut about it. I mean, sure, we might still be Facebook friends, which is cool and I am in no way going to remove you as I still want to know what you are up to/how you are doing/if you have gotten married recently, but I wouldn’t exactly ask you to give me your kidney or anything. Maybe I would if I really needed it...  And I probably wouldn’t ask you to drive me to the airport.

The way I differentiate between acquaintances and friends, and I am being 100% serious about this, is whether you would ask said person to drive you to the airport.

Because a friend would take you, granted they have a vehicle of some description. I’m not going to go ask some person I only met on the weekend to drive me to the airport. WHAT THE HECK?! If they said yes that’d be AWESOME but I’d also be very surprised and maybe a little weirded out by it, in the best way possible of course.

I’m not driving people I never talk to all the way to the airport... that’d be awkward as...

But anyway. I used to feel SO BAD about losing friendships with people. I would blame myself. Like it was all my fault that they never wanted to talk to me anymore. It is partly my fault, I’m sure, as friendship is a two-way street. When one person stops trying that friendship is pretty much doomed.

You can only hold on to a friendship that is one-sided for so long.

I heard somewhere that people can only have a certain amount of friends at a time, like a hundred or something (the awkward moment when I have 700 Facebook friends).

I’M NOT DELETING MY FACEBOOK FRIENDS! It’s not a number thing, I know every single person who I’m friends with on that thing, and I just don’t want to ever delete anyone unless they are psychotic and want to kill me. That is the only time I will remove someone as a friend. If they want to remove me, that’s totally up to them, but I won’t do it.

I like knowing what people are up to. Call me a stalker if you want. It’s not as if I don’t know these people, because I do. And I want to know how they are doing/what they currently look like/where they are in the world etc. I’m sorry if this makes me a creep but that’s just how it is.

I don’t do the “Facebook Culling” that some people do.

I did it after high school... I was in a weird place in my life though, and that was a onetime thing!

I think I’m going off on a tangent.

Are you judging me right now? It’s ok if you are.. I know I might sound a bit crazzzyyyy, I’ve been writing my dissertation for most of the day. It is likely that I have lost the plot.

Anyway so friendships, yes, they are delicate wee things.

I would compare friendships to a plant, and you need to water it and fertilise it, talk to it, maybe even sing to it??? If you don’t do one or all of these things at least ONCE in a while, yo plant is gon’ die y’all.

Sometimes the plant doesn’t die because it is RESILIENT, but this is quite rare I think, and it has to be a special kind of friendship for your plant to become like this.

I do not have resilient plants. If I don’t talk to someone for over a certain amount of months/years/decades, my plant shrivels up and dies. I figure, that person doesn’t want to be my friend anymore *cry*

I used to get really upset, but I am learning to just take it in my stride now.

Sometimes you think your friendship is over and then the person CONTACTS YOU OUT OF THE BLUE AND WANTS TO KNOW HOW YOU ARE!!!!!

This is AWESOME, but it hasn’t happened to me very often.

It happened today though.

It warmed my wee heart. Knowing that someone you thought had killed your friendship plant was starting to water and fertilise it again. Naaaaw <3. Bless.

On a total side note, I am a metaphor-fiend aren’t I?

I give things metaphors AAAAAALLLLL the time.

I also like strreeeeetttcchhhiiinnnggggg my words out for effect.

Yeah.

I also like short sentences and full stops.

I TOLD YOU I’D LOST IT!

I LIKE CAPITAL LETTERS!

I’m going to stop writing now.

I hope this has been entertaining and/or enlightening and/or heart-warming and/or mildly-amusing for you.

I might play Plants vs. Zombies now instead of doing my dissertation.

I only have a month left before I am TOTALLY DONE FOR THE YEAR!

See you later, blog readers. You are an inspiration to me. I will write again in October. Maybe...

X

When You Live Your Life In Soft Focus

Hello blog!

I am in a better mood these days, thank you for asking.
I thought it was time I tried to write something borderline humerous because that is originally why I started this blog.
So.
I would like to discuss... MY VISION!

And when I say vision, I don't mean my plan for the future, or my dream of being a rock star, I mean my vision. Like... literally. My eyesight.

I feel it is important to talk about this.
PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW!!!!

I have had so many awkward moments that could be avoided by people reading this.


>.> I'm just looking for a picture of me wearing glasses... I'm actually finding it quite difficult... not because I am blind but because there aren't that many pictures of me wearing glasses...

OK I FOUND ONE! I look super unimpressed. Obviously because I require glasses and neither of my brothers do and ITS TOTALLY UNFAIR AND I DON'T SEE WHY I HAD TO HAVE REALLY BAD EYESIGHT WHEN THEY CAN SEE JUST FINE!!!!!!

It is a tragedy, I'm not gonna lie...

And yes, I am eating a lollipop. I <3 Chupachups. They are my fave!!!!

Anyway back to my story.

----------------

So I have really bad eyesight.

I mean, not bad enough to warrant me wearing glasses 24/7 like most people, but its pretty bad.

I live my life in a nice soft focus.

I can't tell who anyone is until I am a few metres from them.

Its REALLY AWKWARD when I look at the figure of someone in the distance, and they see me looking and then wave at me (because I actually know them but can't see who they are) If I'm with someone I usually ask them if they know the person, more often than not they don't though so that's quite unhelpful...

So I awkwardly wave and its not until I am closer to them that I exclaim: OH ITS YOU!!!! *extreme happy face*

Then I have to explain about my bad eyesight. It happened today. TRUE STORY.

What a laugh.

I also don't look at people when I walk around because I can't see who they are.

For this reason, people think I am a snob and ignore them, they think that I "look right at them and then look away"

But I DON'T LOOK RIGHT AT YOU!

I look at a hazy figure I cannot distinguish. If I look away its because I have looked at the hazy figure and realised its hazy and there is nothing else I can do. I cannot simply stare down every hazy figure that walks around in my direct vicinity now can I???

I know what you're thinking.

If its this bad, why don't I just wear contacts? Or my glasses 24/7 like I CLEARLY need to???

Well, its a matter of principle. And more than that, I just can't be bothered.

Living life in soft focus isn't so bad.

If i wear my glasses all the time I feel awful when I take them off. Everything is way more blurry than it normally would be. Its just gross and I don't like it. 

Living the way I do now I am fine and I can cope with only wearing my glasses when I'm on my laptop/in a lecture/watching a movie or driving.

I used to wear glasses when I played bass on stage, but I stopped doing that.

I just stand closer to the sheet music now, ITS GENIUS!

I also find that if I wear my glasses boys tend to try and rough house with me, tackle me, tickle me into submission or fight me, so the glasses are at risk of breaking. For this reason I just choose to not wear them all the time and endure the awesomeness of being visually impaired.

I also don't wear contacts because I can't.

I tried this summer to get some and I could not get them in or out of my eyes. I made the whole Optometrist place laugh because I carried on about not being able to get them out. It was horrific.

No thanks.

I'm gonna pass on wearing things you have to shove into your eyeballs everyday.

I know some people can hack it, I am not one of them!!!!

So for now, I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing.

If you see me around the place, don't get offended if I don't see you. Approach me, your arms flailing enthusiastically, and eventually I'll see you.

I'm usually pretty excited when I recognize someone as well so you should expect a smile and a "Oh, its you!"

Try it sometime.

(p.s- I actually got new glasses but there are NO PICTURES of them yet. Maybe its for the best, Joel Hoo doesn't think they're very good) 

Martz Complaining About Stuff

Sometimes I feel like I am the saddest girl in the world.


I know I'm not, I'm not even close to it. But that's just how I feel.

I should change this blog name to "The Saddest Girl in the World"

The other day I was having lunch with a friend and I was soooooooo sad, he bought me an ice cream and I trudged down the road with him and I think I must have been the saddest girl to ever have an icecream. I don't even remember why I was so sad.


People say I let my emotions run my life.
I guess I would agree with that.

I just don't know how to feel better though.

I try to explain why I feel sad.

Right now I tell myself its because I miss the dogs and my family and being on the farm.
Honours is getting me down.
I constantly feel like I'm not doing enough.
My friends say things to me that upset me because I'm too sensitive.

I don't know what I am doing.

I don't think I am doing a good enough job with anything.




This sounds like that 'Lost' blog entry I wrote a little while ago...

You probably think all I do is complain.

I do complain a lot.
I'm not the saddest girl in the world, but I am sad.
And I don't deserve to be sad, which makes me more sad.


I'm sorry this wasn't funny.
You were probably expecting something funny.

Do you have any advice for me? Some encouragement? You can tell me that I don't deserve to be sad and have heaps to be grateful for but I already know that. You can tell me anyway though.

I know Jesus loves me and I should cast all my worries onto Him, but its hard.
I don't even know how to do it.
Help?

Ok, I'm going to go now.
Thanks for reading this, and sorry again that it wasn't funny.