Bipolar Summer

I'm sure you have all heard me say this before, but I am really starting to get over this whole Summer thing.
I have tried really hard up until this point to enjoy my time at home, but its starting to become more and more difficult.

I have realised that I become rather bipolar during my time at home. I have massive mood swings all throughout the day, from feeling insanely happy and blessed to be with my family and my beloved doggies, to feeling really really depressed and hopeless and like I'll never get back to my life at University.
I'll think: "Oh wow! Only 16 days until I go back to Dunedin! YAAAAAY! CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE!"
To thinking: "Aw no! Only 16 days until I go back to Dunedin! I'm going to miss my family so much, I must enjoy the time I have left."

My mood swings are confusing for everyone, including me.
I think the biggest contributing factor to me feeling like this is my very complex relationship with Kaitaia and being with my family.
I love my parents heaps and its really hard for me to be away from them for so long. I feel like I have a really good relationship with them, but they also don't really understand me and there's a lot of miscommunication and I resort back to my angsty teenage ways with them every so often. So I like spending time with them, but at the same time I want my independence and I miss my friends because I spend almost all my time alone or with my parents. Its frustrating after a while.

I once told a friend that I have this ongoing attitude of never being where I want to be. If I'm in Dunedin I am getting my Mum and Dad to call me every week because I miss them and want to come home and be with my dogs, but then when I'm in Kaitaia I am feeling sorry for myself and wishing I was back in Dunedin where I have more than three friends.

I wish I could just be happy in whichever place I am... And I am honestly trying! But maybe that would just be too easy and wouldn't count.
I can't be the only person who struggles to be back in their hometown during Summer can I????

I have two weeks left here now, but I am having surgery on Tuesday so the week after that is pretty much a write-off. I'm not expecting to do much, mainly lie in my bed with my laptop and watch One Tree Hill. I am onto Season 4 and still have all of Season 5 and 6 to watch. Should hopefully be enough to keep me entertained.
I will also be blogging about my recovery, I think that'll be pretty funny. I wonder if I will lose some of my humour because I'll be in pain. Guess we'll just have to wait and see!!!!!

Further more, I have been trying to ward of the depressive mood swings by keeping busy, my Mum made me a to-do list and I finished everything on it in a couple of days. Lately I have been working outside with my Mum a lot. We both enjoy it and its good bonding for us and I get to hang out with the dogs outside so that has been fun.

My dog Sheba is still alive and kicking, but I don't know how much longer she's got. The way its looking is that she'll still be here by the time I leave and go back to Dunedin but most likely won't be when I come back in the mid-year break. But I don't really want to think about that. The last time one of my dogs passed away I got really depressed and it pretty much changed my whole mindset about a lot of things. You've probably noticed I have a very close relationship with my dogs. They are less like pets and more like children/siblings/best friends. So I'm not looking forward to anything happening to Sheba but its going to and I just have to accept it.

That's another reason why its so important for me to make the most of the time I have left in Kaitaia, and I try to tell myself that when I'm going through my depressive episodes but it doesn't really make me feel much better.
Honestly, even just reading about how emotional and crazy I am makes me laugh! JUST CALM DOWN YOU CRAZY WOMAN!

At any rate I will be back in Dunedin and with friends soon enough, and then I'll be calling my parents heaps and asking how the doggies are and wishing I could come home and be with them.

Will the vicious cycle never end?!
(Probably not, but here's hoping).