Confessions of a Newlywed

Today marks two years that Lyndon and I have been together!

I hope people aren't getting sick of me writing about weddings/marriages.

I was trying to think of something to write about earlier (my goal is to write AT LEAST once a month, but it's hard!) and all I could really think of writing about is what I know.

And what I know is what I'm going through at the moment.

And as you probably know, I am a newlywed.

Its funny because I get asked all the time how married life is.

You know how when you see someone you know, and you say hi to them and ask about something you know if happening in their life?

Well it feels like EVERYONE wants to know how married life is.

Which is cool!

And I love answering.

My favourite answer is: "Better than unmarried life!" And then I laugh, and usually the person I said it to laughs as well.

But the truth is, it IS a lot better than unmarried life.

Girlfriends of mine who are married or engaged totally agree with me, being engaged is not that great.

Being married is AWESOME!

When you are engaged as a Christian couple, there are lot of things you "can't do".

I put that in speech marks because obviously, you CAN DO them if you choose, but it's not the best idea.

Lyndon and I didn't live together before we were married, and if you refer to my most popular blog post ever: http://girlthateatschips.blogspot.co.nz/2015/03/why-i-waited-til-my-wedding-day.html, we didn't have naked fun times either. 

So getting married was a big step for us and made a lot of things acceptable.

We could sleep in the same bed.

 We could go away on trips together, just the two of us. 

We could live in our own house.

We could choose just to hang out by ourselves, together.

So as you can see, marriage is great and a lot better than just dating or being engaged.

There is more to it than that though.

Here are some things people have asked me and I thought it might be good to share with you:

How do I deal with sharing my space for the first time ever?

This one actually wasn't that hard to adjust to, even though I've never had to share a room ever in my life (my brothers had to but not me, thank goodness). 

I think when you love someone enough, you don't mind them being in your space.

Lyndon is the first person in my life that I don't mind being with all the time, that's how I knew he was 'the one'.

Sharing a bed was a little hard at first (I've never been good at sharing beds with anyone) but I soon grew accustomed to it and now I need Lyndon in the bed with me before I fall asleep or I get too cold. Funny how things change, huh?

Also, Lyndon and I found it helpful once we got back from Honeymoon to completely rearrange our new bedroom with equal amounts of both of our stuff. That way it didn't feel like one of us was moving in to the other persons space. It was OUR space now. :-)

Because you never lived together, have you been shocked by some of your husband's habits you didn't know about?

Actually no. There are no habits Lyndon has had while we've been married that he didn't have while we were dating/engaged.

People warned me that once I was married, Lyndon would bring out all these disgusting habits I didn't know about, but it didn't happen!

I am happy to say that I knew, almost 100%, the kind of person Lyndon was before we said "I do", and I have not been surprised by any behaviour of his post-wedding.

You don't have to live with someone to know who they are completely, you just have to spend enough time together and promote an environment of complete honesty.

I don't believe in the saying "Try before you buy" when it comes to couples living and sleeping together before marriage, it just isn't true. And you don't have to.

Do you fight more now that you live together?

I don't think so. Lyndon and I don't really fight much to begin with, we never really have. 

I get pissed off and have a go at him, he apologises and then we move on.

That's usually how it goes, and that hasn't changed at all since we've gotten married.

You know when you watch tv/movies and there's a couple and they are screaming at each other, throwing plates, kicking and screaming and punching walls? We've never had a fight like that.

I'm not into getting physical when I'm angry, and Lyndon is much too patient to retaliate. I wonder if we'll ever fight like that? Probably not.

When are you having kids?

Hahaha I love this question. Not for a few more years if we can help it :-)

No honeymoon baby for us! (sorry)

Are you sad your wedding is over?

Honestly no. I'm glad. Very very glad.

As I have explained in past blog entries, my wedding was a wonderful event, but also too much pressure to be able to fully enjoy, so I don't wish to ever repeat it. :-)

I look forward to sharing in the weddings of all our friends now, its much nicer being a guest at a wedding than the couple getting married! 

Now that you're married you don't need to see your friends as much, do you?

This is a myth! I hope my friends read this. Because for me, it just isn't true.

Yes, Lyndon is my best friend and I love that I get to see him everyday, but I also miss my other friends too. Especially my girlfriends. I like seeing them and talking with them about girly things that Lyndon doesn't have much interest in (and fair enough!)

It has been almost four months of marriage and I am trying really hard to balance my marriage, job, church, family and friends. (No room for exercise in there, sorry not sorry!) Hahaha.

I have gone down to part time hours at work because I wasn't coping and was just running on empty.

Things are better now.

But I want my friends to know this, and I really hope they read it:

You are still my friends and I want to be an active part in your lives.

Lyndon isn't the only person who matters.

Please keep me in the loop.

Let's hang out and have lunch or coffee or watch a movie or whatever.

I will make time for you.

:-)

I know that there are people out there who may have experienced people in their life who get married and then don't have much time for them anymore, and that's totally up to them and I'm not judging them in the slightest, but that's just not me.

I need my friends. Lyndon can't fill all the places in my heart where they all live.

He definitely has his place, and it's probably bigger than anyone else's, but that doesn't negate the fact that there ARE other places.

But anyway, I think I have rambled enough.

I hope I have made some sense and you have gotten something positive out of this.

It sure does make me feel better to write.

Hope you are all doing well and see you next month!

Thanks again for reading.

x