Ok so I'm meant to be asleep because its 1:49am and I have a class at 10am, but I had to write this down while its still fresh.
So I've just calmed myself, the crying has stopped for now, I hope.
Alright so earlier tonight I was doing Nightlife, its one of the Outreaches we run as part of Student Life.
It basically involves chilling outside The Cook with a Singstar and just sharing the love with people by allowing them to play and have a good time. If we get the chance to talk to them about what they believe, thats a bonus, but I have personally never gotten to that point.
Usually people bring up what they think about Christians in the first few moments of encountering us, as they ask us why we're doing this. Quite a few of the people I talked to wanted to know why we were doing this.
So I tell them.
Anyway, I was having a pretty good night. Hadn't had any decent conversations with people but that's standard.
By the end of the night we were about to head home and I saw my little brother Philip talking to this guy, and I could tell it wasn't going well. The guy looked really angry and I knew that I should probably get in there and try to smooth over whatever Philip may have said. He's not the most socially capable guy around, he is way too honest and will be blunt with people when sensitivity is required.
So I went over, and a few people followed me.
This guy was attacking my brother. Saying that science was real and that God was make-believe. I could see Philip was trying to reason with him (not very well, hence social inept-ness) but he was trying his best. I jumped in and tried to get him to understand why we believed in God, but he didn't want to hear it. I tried telling him how I have seen God heal people, but he thought it was a joke.
He started calling us idiots and mocking what we said.
He also swore at us. He said that we were stupid and annoying for playing Singstar and trying to convince people to believe what we wanted. Nothing I said was getting through to him.
He kept calling us idiots.
He insulted Philip and I told him not to talk to my brother that way, that he was being really disrespectful and mean and that he was allowed to believe what he believed just like we were.
But he was still angry, Philip told him "You believe what you want to believe, amen?"
And he got even angrier. "What the f*** does amen men? Don't come here with that amen ****"
We explained to him that 'amen' means 'I agree', but he didn't want to hear it.
Nice use of words Philip...
By the end of this altercation, I was feeling really upset and heartbroken. I know this guy through mutual friends and the fact that he hated God and Christians so much was really shocking to me. I have never had someone show so much hatred to me before. I had happily re-introduced myself to him earlier that night, but now he had turned on me. He called me a f***ing idiot as well.
My group and I finally decided to leave him because we weren't getting anywhere, and as we walked away I started to cry.
Nothing I could say was ever going to convince him that God exists.
How do you get through to someone with so much anger and hatred in their heart?
It was really heartbreaking, he not only insulted my earthly brother, which is a huge deal to me. People are not allowed to insult my family, ever. I am fiercely protective of them. But he had the nerve to insult my heavenly Father. To call what we believe, a God that created us and loves us, a joke.
All the things I've seen God do, and the miracles and healings and everything, the way that He has been changing my life for the better, none of it matters to this guy.
So all I could do was cry, and pray that somehow God was going to make a way.
How do you make people believe when they are so set against it?
Its a flippin hard thing.
I wanted to write all this down now so I don't forget it.
And when I think about this, all my little problems seem so insignificant when I think about all the people out there who want to know God but just never even considered it.
This guy needs God, so all I can do is love him and pray for him.
I hope this blog entry has been helpful in some way.
I realise now that sharing God's love is so crucial, and that sometimes you are going to get hated for it.
Sometimes people are going to make you cry.
They will break your heart.
But all I can do is pray that God will reveal Himself to them and bless them.
And with that, I am going to go to sleep, at 2:12am.
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