Sheba 1999 - 2012

This morning I woke up and checked my phone like I always do. I had a text message. It was from my Dad. It said that yesterday they had put Sheba down.

Sheba.
My dog.

We had gotten Sheba back in 1999 I think it was, or maybe it was 2000. She was just a little puppy. She had been at the vets waiting for someone to take her, somehow my brother had found out about her and my parents decided that we would add her to our family. The people at the vets had called her Marmite (because she's black) but we thought Sheba fitted her better.

My older brother and I decided to share her, 50/50, which meant that we would both be responsible for looking after her.


She was the cutest little thing. Black with white bits around her face and down her belly.
She loved running around and was always full of energy. I was inlove with her instantly. I remember her chasing me around and tearing my skirt. No big deal. :-P
At one point my little brother smashed the glass in the front door and she jumped through it to get outside. She got all cut up and ever since then she wasn't able to jump up on things, like the back of the ute, so we'd have to lift her up onto it.


She was quite aggressive towards the other dogs at times, so they would jump up onto the back of the ute so she couldn't get them. She barked a lot. Like, a lot. She loved barking at things and tearing things up.
She devoured a number of gumboots over the last twelve years. She also loved sticks. She also broke off all her teeth because she would bite the quad bike tyres... while it was moving... I think the quad bike taunted her because she HATED that thing. She would bark and bark and bark and just go completely crazy. As soon as you started the engine, BOOM! Sheba was going off her nut at it.

I can't deny that Sheba had a lot of heart though. She loved running. Even when she got really old and her joints got all stiff, she still wanted to go out on the farm and run around. She and my Mum spent a lot of time together. Some of my best memories of her were from when we would be out on the farm together. She was so full of life all the time. It didn't feel like anything could ever stop her. When she couldn't keep up with the quad bike anymore, my Mum would put her on her lap as she drove the quad bike. I loved sitting on the back of the quad as my Mum drove along and holding on to her. She would try to get lose and jump down but I would just hold her tight. She wanted to do more than her body would let her.
She taught me what it was to enjoy life and live it to the full.
I didn't think anything would ever be able to stop her.

Sheba was my dog. I understood her. I knew what it was like to have people misunderstand you. People would tell me that she was annoying because she barked all the time and picked on the other dogs, when she got older certain people even told me that we should just shoot her. I would become very frustrated and defensive. Sometimes I would get angry and tell them to shut up, other times I would just start crying.

Sheba was MY dog and you can't talk about her that way. Yes, she barked a lot and picked on the other dogs, but it was only because that was her personality. The other dogs didn't really care, she was an angry female, its nothing out of the ordinary. Sheba was a good dog, and when it came down to it, she was always loyal and there when you needed her.

Even when she was old, she was still a fighter. One time the younger dogs were trying to kill a possum but couldn't do it, Sheba hobbled over all stiff and just bit it in the neck. Boom, its dead. Sheba was the boss. Always.
I saw her kill many rats that lived in the fields, it was impressive.

I can't believe she's gone.
I think I'm still in denial.
I have been waiting for this happen for a year now, but its still hard.
I loved that dog, I spent the better part of ten years with her. I always had her back and she'd always have mine.

I should have been there to say goodbye to her.

I didn't see her the day I left for Dunedin back in February, I spent most of the previous day with her, trying to say goodbye. I didn't want to see her on the day I left and then fall apart. My dad told me he was going to put her down. He'd been saying that for months. 

I've cried a lot over Sheba, I have been grieving her death even before she died. I am probably better equipped to deal with it now because of that. I have probably cried over her enough this past year to fill up a couple of jars.

I have cried A LOT! So her passing away shouldn't come as a surprise to the people who knew about her. I have been waiting for this to happen this whole year.

It still sucks though.

And I don't even know how to handle it.

I feel like I'm still in denial about it. It'll only sink in once I go back to the farm and she's not there.

I know some people don't understand how I can love dogs so much, but hopefully if you feel that way, this blog has helped.

This sucks.

I am sorry I wasn't there for her.

I should have been there to say goodbye and dig her grave like I did for Brutus.

Mum says she buried her near the place we buried Brutus. She's going to put a fence around it and plant some trees there. That'll be nice.

I will miss Sheba. She was my best friend.

I hope she knew how much I loved her.