When You Live Your Life In Soft Focus

Hello blog!

I am in a better mood these days, thank you for asking.
I thought it was time I tried to write something borderline humerous because that is originally why I started this blog.
So.
I would like to discuss... MY VISION!

And when I say vision, I don't mean my plan for the future, or my dream of being a rock star, I mean my vision. Like... literally. My eyesight.

I feel it is important to talk about this.
PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW!!!!

I have had so many awkward moments that could be avoided by people reading this.


>.> I'm just looking for a picture of me wearing glasses... I'm actually finding it quite difficult... not because I am blind but because there aren't that many pictures of me wearing glasses...

OK I FOUND ONE! I look super unimpressed. Obviously because I require glasses and neither of my brothers do and ITS TOTALLY UNFAIR AND I DON'T SEE WHY I HAD TO HAVE REALLY BAD EYESIGHT WHEN THEY CAN SEE JUST FINE!!!!!!

It is a tragedy, I'm not gonna lie...

And yes, I am eating a lollipop. I <3 Chupachups. They are my fave!!!!

Anyway back to my story.

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So I have really bad eyesight.

I mean, not bad enough to warrant me wearing glasses 24/7 like most people, but its pretty bad.

I live my life in a nice soft focus.

I can't tell who anyone is until I am a few metres from them.

Its REALLY AWKWARD when I look at the figure of someone in the distance, and they see me looking and then wave at me (because I actually know them but can't see who they are) If I'm with someone I usually ask them if they know the person, more often than not they don't though so that's quite unhelpful...

So I awkwardly wave and its not until I am closer to them that I exclaim: OH ITS YOU!!!! *extreme happy face*

Then I have to explain about my bad eyesight. It happened today. TRUE STORY.

What a laugh.

I also don't look at people when I walk around because I can't see who they are.

For this reason, people think I am a snob and ignore them, they think that I "look right at them and then look away"

But I DON'T LOOK RIGHT AT YOU!

I look at a hazy figure I cannot distinguish. If I look away its because I have looked at the hazy figure and realised its hazy and there is nothing else I can do. I cannot simply stare down every hazy figure that walks around in my direct vicinity now can I???

I know what you're thinking.

If its this bad, why don't I just wear contacts? Or my glasses 24/7 like I CLEARLY need to???

Well, its a matter of principle. And more than that, I just can't be bothered.

Living life in soft focus isn't so bad.

If i wear my glasses all the time I feel awful when I take them off. Everything is way more blurry than it normally would be. Its just gross and I don't like it. 

Living the way I do now I am fine and I can cope with only wearing my glasses when I'm on my laptop/in a lecture/watching a movie or driving.

I used to wear glasses when I played bass on stage, but I stopped doing that.

I just stand closer to the sheet music now, ITS GENIUS!

I also find that if I wear my glasses boys tend to try and rough house with me, tackle me, tickle me into submission or fight me, so the glasses are at risk of breaking. For this reason I just choose to not wear them all the time and endure the awesomeness of being visually impaired.

I also don't wear contacts because I can't.

I tried this summer to get some and I could not get them in or out of my eyes. I made the whole Optometrist place laugh because I carried on about not being able to get them out. It was horrific.

No thanks.

I'm gonna pass on wearing things you have to shove into your eyeballs everyday.

I know some people can hack it, I am not one of them!!!!

So for now, I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing.

If you see me around the place, don't get offended if I don't see you. Approach me, your arms flailing enthusiastically, and eventually I'll see you.

I'm usually pretty excited when I recognize someone as well so you should expect a smile and a "Oh, its you!"

Try it sometime.

(p.s- I actually got new glasses but there are NO PICTURES of them yet. Maybe its for the best, Joel Hoo doesn't think they're very good) 

Martz Complaining About Stuff

Sometimes I feel like I am the saddest girl in the world.


I know I'm not, I'm not even close to it. But that's just how I feel.

I should change this blog name to "The Saddest Girl in the World"

The other day I was having lunch with a friend and I was soooooooo sad, he bought me an ice cream and I trudged down the road with him and I think I must have been the saddest girl to ever have an icecream. I don't even remember why I was so sad.


People say I let my emotions run my life.
I guess I would agree with that.

I just don't know how to feel better though.

I try to explain why I feel sad.

Right now I tell myself its because I miss the dogs and my family and being on the farm.
Honours is getting me down.
I constantly feel like I'm not doing enough.
My friends say things to me that upset me because I'm too sensitive.

I don't know what I am doing.

I don't think I am doing a good enough job with anything.




This sounds like that 'Lost' blog entry I wrote a little while ago...

You probably think all I do is complain.

I do complain a lot.
I'm not the saddest girl in the world, but I am sad.
And I don't deserve to be sad, which makes me more sad.


I'm sorry this wasn't funny.
You were probably expecting something funny.

Do you have any advice for me? Some encouragement? You can tell me that I don't deserve to be sad and have heaps to be grateful for but I already know that. You can tell me anyway though.

I know Jesus loves me and I should cast all my worries onto Him, but its hard.
I don't even know how to do it.
Help?

Ok, I'm going to go now.
Thanks for reading this, and sorry again that it wasn't funny.