My Boyfriend Isn't Whipped

Hi Blog,

I've got some time to kill before I make pizza for dinner so I thought I would take a stab at writing a blog post. Not sure how it's going to turn out but let's just see how we go.

The topic I have chosen for today is pretty self-explanatory.

I really don't believe that my boyfriend is whipped.

Before Lyndon came into my life, I was THAT PERSON who always made fun of the whipped boyfriends.

Growing up I mainly befriended guys, and eventually, they would get themselves girlfriends. I would then make it my mission to inform them if they were whipped. I didn't say if they were, I would just make the very loud whipping noise if they ever mentioned something that they had done/were going to do for their girlfriends.

Sometimes they would tell me how they had to leave to pick up their girlfriend from across town *whip noise* or they couldn't hang out with our friend group because they were hanging out with their girlfriend instead *whip noise* or maybe I'd be talking to my friend (whose a girl) about what she made her boyfriend do *whip noise*

I like using the whip noise, okay?!!?

But now that I am in a relationship, my whole perspective on what it means to be whipped has totally changed.

As I write this, I am racking my brain trying to think of who it was who was "the most whippiest of whipped guys I have ever met". I gave someone this title but now I can't even remember who it is...

DANG IT!

Maybe I'll ask around. Or maybe if you are reading this and you remember me saying this about someone, could you let me know who it is? Hahahaha. I usually have an excellent memory but I guess I didn't see any point to remembering this one little fact.

Looking at being whipped on a broader scale, I have been asking myself: What does it mean to be whipped?

As always, I like to look at the dictionary definition. And since 'whipped' is well and truly a colloquial expression, I have turned to my favourite website for word definitions: URBAN DICTIONARY.

The urban dictionary refers to 'whipped' as: being completely controlled by your girlfriend or boyfriend...in most cases a guy being completely controlled by his girlfriend.

Hmmm. So being whipped is all about CONTROL.

I do recall that with most of my guy friends, who were the chilled ones not the super intense ones in the relationship (like with Lyndon and me), they weren't exactly "controlled" by their girlfriends but they certainly did things to make them happy which made it SEEM like they were whipped.

But like I mentioned earlier, my perspective has changed.

The other night I was talking to some people about Lyndon being whipped.

I vehemently disagree with the claims that Lyndon is whipped, even though he agrees that he is (but he blatantly isn't) I'll explain why.

Here are two scenarios, one where the guy is whipped, the other where the guy is just being a loving boyfriend who is actually very thoughtful and should be praised for his actions not ridiculed.

SCENARIO 1:

Martz: My car is covered in bird poo it's soooooo gross

Lyndon: Oh true. 

Martz: Do you know of a carwash where I can take it to get washed? OH NO WAIT! YOU SHOULD TOTALLY WASH IT FOR ME? Can you wash it for me okay thanks Lyndon!

*runs off*

*runs back*

Martz: Oh and BY THE WAY if you could also take it for a WOF while you have it that would be just SUPER! Okay byeeeeeeee

*runs off again*

If Lyndon washes Martz' car and takes it for a WOF, he is pretty much whipped.

SCENARIO 2:

 Martz: My car is covered in bird poo it's soooooo gross

Lyndon: Oh true. 

Martz: Do you know of a carwash where I can take it to get washed?

Lyndon: Oh don't worry about that, I can wash it for you

Martz: Are you sure? That's so nice. I would really appreciate that.

*While Lyndon has the car he sneakily takes it for WOF without Martz knowing about it*

In this second situation, Lyndon is not whipped. Martz didn't even ask him to wash her car, he volunteered. He also took the car for a WOF without being asked.

HE IS NOT WHIPPED! HE IS A NICE PERSON!

If you didn't know already, Scenario 2 actually happened.

A friend from work described "whipped" as when a guy ditches his friends to hang out with his missus. I guess that makes sense.

I never want to be that person that asks Lyndon to ditch his friends for me, but there have been some times when he has preferred to come and hang out with me rather than his other friends. But again, I don't think this is him being whipped.

I genuinely like spending time with him because he is my best friend, I don't want to control him and make him spend time with me. If he doesn't want to then he doesn't have to, but I think if you asked him he would probably tell you the same thing I did.

Balancing your friends and your relationship is tricky, but I think what could help is having a better understanding of what it's like for both parties. I have been on both sides of the argument.

I have been the friend who gets ditched by the guy who is supposedly whipped, and I have also been the person who the guy who is supposedly whipped ditches his friends for.

I THINK the moral of the story is not to be too quick to judge people and thinking you know more about their relationship than you actually do.

I won't be going around making the whipped noise anymore, because I know how it feels when people call you or your significant other whipped when they aren't.

Lyndon likes to just go with it, he even tells people he is whipped.

But I stand by the fact that he isn't.

He's just a good guy.

Feel free to comment below on what your thoughts and opinions are on being whipped.

Thanks for reading! xx

Want vs. Need : My Dream of Minimalist Living

Greetings.

I have been thinking about this topic for a while now.

What does it mean to be a minimalist?

I'm SO intrigued by the concept.

According to the online Dictionary, a miniamlist refers to:

1. 1.

   a person who advocates or practises minimalism.
2. 2.

   a person advocating moderate reform in politics.

Obivously when I refer to minimalism I am in no way talking about politics.. hahaha...

Urban dictionary refers to a minimalist as:

• one who puts forth as little effort as possible

"I'm a minimalist, make your own example."

Hehe. 

Ever since I was young, I had a problem with having too much STUFF!!!!

There's just to much stuff you can have. I seemed to have more stuff than anyone else, which is probably not true, but maybe it was.. I did have a lot. My brothers had a lot of stuff too. So did all my friends.

I think it was just seen as totally normal.

I truly believe that we 100% live in a consumeristically-driven society.

It's not as if I have researched it, but I have been on this planet for almost 23 years and I can see the obsession with the NEW. People are made to believe they constantly need the next best thing.

Look at the Toothbrush market. We talked about that in my Media Studies classes at University.

A toothbrush is a toothbrush, but they are constantly bringing out newer and better models.

How?! Why?!

ITS A TOOTHBRUSH! YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH! Yes, you are supposedly meant to replace them every 3 months. But I don't do that. I can't be bothered. My toothbrush can last ages. In 3 months its barely had a chance to be used to its full potential. But I digress.

There are things other than toothbrushes that people want to constantly replace.

Look at the obsession with cellphones. Every year there seems to be a newer and better model that people get their knickers in a twist over. A phone is a phone. If you have one, great. Don't just go out and get a new one every time it has some new functions. Your phone is perfectly good.

I had my dumb phone since I was in Second Year before I finally joined the Smartphone craze, and it was only because my phone couldn't survive without being charged for more than a few hours. It was impractical. I was worrying about dying in a ditch somewhere if I got into an accident and my phone died when I tried to ring for help. Seemed like the better choice just to get another one.

I don't intend on getting another phone til this one blows up. Should last me at least a few years.

I am so sick of having so much stuff. The consumerist culture makes me sick to my stomach.

I don't need all this stuff. I don't WANT it!

When people ask me what I want, I just say nothing.

There are obviously things I want, but its all stuff I'd have to buy myself.

A few examples are:

• A new handbag - mine is falling apart and looks TERRIBLE! But I am currently saving for a new guitar so the handbag will have to wait

• A new wallet - same as the handbag dilemma. My wallet gets constantly laughed at. Its hot pink and I've had it for almost ten years. Its looking a little worse for wear, but it still works so like the handbag, it can wait.

• A NEW GUITAR - this is a big one. I have wanted a new guitar for a very long time, but I've always told myself its not practical. I have a lot of things I need to pay for. 

There are my continual costs that go toward my car; petrol, oil, WOF, new tyres, etc.

A car is a bit of a money pit, but I need one.

I have my rent and food expenses, and I've also invested a lot of money in recording my first album.

This summer I am going to get physical copies of the album made and that's going to cost even MORE money.

It just never made sense to me to spend a lot of money on a new guitar.

But I REEEAAAALLY want one.

So I finally decided to bite the bullet and make my own 'Guitar Fund' bank account to slowly put a bit of money aside every paycheck and EVENTUALLY get my new guitar.

Its also a great way to satisfy those who insist on getting me presents.

Please donate to my New Guitar Fund!

Its pretty perfect.

EVERYONE WINS!

I don't expect to have enough to buy this new guitar for a while. And I do have Isabelle til then (Isabelle is my current guitar).

Don't get me wrong, I don't NEED  a new guitar, and I know that full well. But I want one.

I guess that's the difference between want and need.

I need to buy petrol, pay rent, etc. I don't need to buy a new guitar.

I also don't need to buy new clothes - so I haven't been.

I don't need to go to fancy restaurants to eat fancy food, so I don't.

There are a lot of things I don't need, so I do my best not to indulge in that stuff.

But I do want a new guitar.

You could say I NEED a new handbag but my one still works so I don't reckon ;-)

On a larger scale though, I don't need a lot of the STUFF I have accumulated in my life. I want to just sell/get rid of most of it. I don't want so much stuff.

When I get married and move into my own house, I don't want it to be full of stuff.

I want to be a MINIMALIST well and truly. The less stuff the better.

Only what you NEED.

No knickknack-y things, I have enough of those to fill a house. I want sleek and empty shelves, windowsills and tables. I don't want stuff everywhere. 

In my 5 years in Dunedin I have managed to accumulate boxes full of stuff. It makes me feel very frustrated and disappointed that I haven't adhered to my dream of being a minimalist. Its so difficult sometimes.

But I will keep working towards it.

Some people think that having more stuff will make them happier, I feel like the opposite is true for me.

The less I have, the more satisfied I will feel.

We don't need stuff to make us happy and fulfill us.

Some things are necessary.

Some things are just for fun.

And some things just aren't needed at all.