30 October 2013

A Constant State of Tiredness



Before I started writing this, I thought I'd try to find a picture of me being tired on Facebook.
I couldn't find anything.
I then realised that in almost every photo, I was tired, you just can't always tell.

So until I get Lyndon to send the photo he screenshotted of me TOTALLY EXHAUSTED at work that I initially sent to him via snapchat, this blog will have to remain photo-less.

Sorry about that.

I know photos make the blog more fun. I am a firm believer in that anyway.



I am tired all the time.

No, I don't have an iron deficiency.
I don't think its my diet, I eat a lot of iron.
It may be due to a lack of exercise but I'm on my feet all day at work so I don't think its that either.

I feel like I live in a constant state of tiredness.


Anyone who spends an extended period of time with me, such as my main man Lyndon, can vouch for this.
I am always tired.
And if I'm not tired initially, I will be by the time I've hung out with you for awhile.


I tend to be the most tired on my first day back at work, and also halfway through my days off.

I don't fully understand why I'm so tired all the time, but it has made my life a bit harder to live.



There are loads of things I would love to do, but I'm just too tired.

I want to play gigs
Write more songs
Hang out with more of my friends
Travel around Otago
Walk dogs at the SPCA
Volunteer to help more at church
Go running
Organise my room
Learn how to play more chords on the guitar
Visit friends I haven't seen in years


But I'm just too tired to do any of these things.



I'm tired on a Sunday because I always stay up too late on Saturday night and don't get enough sleep on a Sunday to make me function normally.
I'm tired on Monday because its my day off and my body is recovering from the week
I'm tired on Tuesday because its my first day back at work and my body finds it hard to get back into the swing of things
I'm tired on Wednesday because its my day off again and my body's like: WOAH WHAT HAPPENED?!
I'm tired on Thursday because I'm back at work again, and I have to once again get used to being on my feet all day
I'm tired on Friday because I am at work again and feeling a bit drained. Everyone's like: YEAH ITS THE WEEKEND! But you still have to work
I'm tired on Saturday because I'm working again and feeling really worn out from being on my feet all day and talking to people non-stop.

And the cycle continues.

I will admit that I'm not as tired as I used to be when I only had 2 days off as opposed to 3, but I'm still tired most of the time. It sucks :-(


I think a huge part of it is the fact I'm an introvert.
My job in the Cafe is super draining on me. By the time I get home from work the LAST THING I want to do is hang out with people (Lyndon not included). I would like to hang out with Lyndon any time of the day, but that's different.

Groups of people suck my energy away.

Hence, if you have invited me to stuff this year and I haven't gone, its because I have been too tired.

I am sorry about this.


I'm going to try really hard to be better next year.

At the moment my favourite thing to do after work is come home and watch TV shows on my Laptop alone in my room. I will, of course, let Lyndon watch with me sometimes, or I will go out and hang out with him, but that is as much as I can manage.



I guess I just felt I should explain why I suck so badly this year and have become a bit of a hermit.
I was telling my friend Natalie that my tiredness is hindering my life. I'm just too tired to do anything about it.
Ironic, isn't it? :-P



But anyway, thanks for reading.
And thanks for being accepting of my condition. I won't be at the Cafe forever, hopefully one days I won't have to live in a constant state of tiredness anymore. I'll also have you know I get about 9 hours sleep every night so its not as if I am not getting enough sleep. Its more likely I'm getting too much, but I can't really help that as I'm just too tired.


I FOUND THESE PHOTOS! Semi-relevant.







Stay classy xx


14 October 2013

Playing With Fire : A Super SUPER Short Story


DISCLAIMER: Despite what you may believe, this is a work of fiction.
The reason I called it 'Playing With Fire' is because it deals with similar themes as the song of the same name.
Don't read too much into this ;)

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We both lay there not saying anything.
I could see light from the moon streaming in through the cracks in the curtain, casting strange shadows on the posters on his wall.

The room felt cold, unwelcome.


I tried to listen for a sound, for anything to distract me from the feeling of guilt that blanketed me.


I heard him take a breath.
“This can’t happen again.”


He thought it was a mistake. I guess I agreed with him.
I must have thought it was a mistake too. 
It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Despite what I lead everyone to believe, I never wanted anything to happen.

We had played a sort of strange cat and mouse game with each other for months. Leading each other on but never following through.

It had been fun for awhile. 



Tears welled up in my eyes. I didn’t want to look at him.



I hadn’t waited for an invitation. 
He didn’t ask for one. 
But as soon as it happened, we both knew it shouldn’t have. Something changed between us.


What was once an unspoken rule that “nothing was ever going to happen” had been broken. 
I guess I had broken it, but it was an accident.


I felt worse than he could have realised.



He must have thought this is what I wanted. He could have convinced anyone that I was the instigator in all of this. That's how it would look.

But I didn't want it. I never wanted it.


He wasn't the victim.
And I never pretended to be.
But I couldn't stand that he thought I was the one who started all this. 
We were both wrong.


Everything that happened between us up until this point was wrong.



“You’re going to regret this in the morning” I had told him, half-joking.




He told me that he already did.

02 October 2013

The Road to Recording my First Album




Hello Blog!!



I have been very busy as of late so I had to set aside SPECIFIC TIME to write this!
It has been a long time coming.

I kept using the excuse that I didn't have any photos to accompany this blog post so I couldn't do it til I had some.
Well I got some, thanks to my good friend Aimee.
She's a star


Recording my very first album has been such a great experience. I have been learning a lot about my songwriting, what works, what doesn't, and also how my voice works. I never realised that I slid off the notes when I hold them too long. I also have a tendancy to write songs that require me to hold the notes for a long time. WHY DO I DO THIS?!?! I will try to avoid that in the future.
A really good example is in my song 'Stars'. Every other word is held for aaaaaaages. Sheesh. That one was a tricky one to record.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.


I will start at the beginning.



As most of you know, I released an EP this year in April. I recorded it in November last year and it was quite a rough time. I was still dealing with a lot of stuff and wasn't in a good place emotionally. I had to basically sing about stuff that was still very raw and impacting me in my daily life. YEUGH!!!!
If I could have NOT done that I think I would have found it a lot more enjoyable.
But nevertheless it was still a GROWING experience if nothing else.
During the time I was recording the EP, and then even later on, I wrote a bunch of new songs.
'Eveything I Wanted' and 'The Last Song' were written during the recording of the EP. They are now some of my all-time favourites (for now at least). I thought it was a shame they wouldn't make it on the EP.

When the EP came out this year in April, I had a Release Party and it was AWESOME! Even though I wasn't 100% psyched about the way the EP turned out, the Release Party was sooooo much fun! I got to perform the songs on the EP as well as some of my new material, including 'The Hard Road' which I finished writing that very week.

You can listen to and/or download for free and/or help me not be broke by paying for the song on my Bandcamp page: http://martinette.bandcamp.com/


After the Release Party I did a few gigs with my friend Chris but then all this other intense stuff happened and I started questioning my future in music.
Was this really what I was cut out for?
A lot of people told me that I shouldn't waste my time. I wasn't good enough at singing. Yes, I was a gifted songwriter, but my singing was not up to scratch (at least from what they heard on the EP).

Yowzer!

So I stopped doing the music thing for a little while.

OUT OF THE BLUE I get a message from this guy I know, Josh, who asked me if I was interested in working with his friends' new recording company type thing who were producing one free single for musicians. I of course said YES!

I met up with these guys, who called themselves Dancing Fox Media (and have since become Dancing Fox Studios), and played them 'The Hard Road' and 'The Last Song'. They said they were keen to work with me, so we got right to it.

Recording 'The Hard Road' was very different from recording my EP. The guys let me play guitar in the track and didn't make me use click (metronome). It was very organic and fun.
Even though I found the vocals tricky at times, they were very patient with me and encouraging so I didn't feel pressured or bad about myself.

By the time the song was done, it was sounding INCREDIBLE and I was keen to do more. So I signed on to do an album.

Over the next few months I went to their makeshift studio every Monday and recorded guitar and vocals for various songs I've written over the last five years.
I always left feeling good.

Even though Joe, the head-honcho producer, sometimes asks me to change the melody or the way I breathe in the song, it is usually for a good reason. I have been known to be a wee bit moody when tired and asked to sing that part of the song AGAIN because I slid off the note AGAIN, but on the whole the entire recording process has been tons of fun and an invaluable experience.

I feel like I have grown as a musician since working with Dancing Fox.
They are honestly such great guys.

It was also cool to have Aimee come along and take photos of one of our recording sessions.
She got to witness my sulky behaviour when Joe told me I had to change the way I sung the chorus of 'Maybe', and how I eventually gave in because I do actually trust his judgement, haha.


I also ended up playing to a click track for every song on the album EXCEPT 'The Hard Road' and 'The Last Song'. Joe said I'm actually really good at playing with click, I just psyche myself out when I can't do it at first.


When you finally get to listen to the album you'll hopefully notice that all the instruments have been recorded by various people, such as the Dancing Fox guys Joe, Andrew and Josh, and my good friend Christopher. My friend and flatmate Xanda even has an appearance on one of the tracks where she does some super cool BV's. Woooooo!!!


I'm super excited about the album. I won't give too much else away about it, except that it should be coming out before the end of the year on Bandcamp.
Seriously you should check out my Bandcamp page if you haven't done so yet.
http://martinette.bandcamp.com/


If you're in Dunedin you should also come see me play at Samstock. There is more info on the Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/samstockfest

And you can keep up to date with what I'm up to with my music by liking my Artist page here: https://www.facebook.com/martinettemusic



Okay I'm done. Hopefully you've enjoyed my rambling. Here are some photos that Aimee took. I added captions ^_^



Joe setting up the mic, yo!

 

Joe and me practicising the new instrumental strum for 'Maybe'!




Jamming with the click
Standard Martz 'Not Sure' Face.
Singin' my wee heart out



The look I give Joe when he suggests a change

Who I sang my entire album to: the boys from The Strokes and Kings of Leon


If you are interested in working with or getting more info on Dancing Fox Studios visit their Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/dancingfoxstudios?fref=ts




Thanks for reading :)