When You Live Your Life In Soft Focus

Hello blog!

I am in a better mood these days, thank you for asking.
I thought it was time I tried to write something borderline humerous because that is originally why I started this blog.
So.
I would like to discuss... MY VISION!

And when I say vision, I don't mean my plan for the future, or my dream of being a rock star, I mean my vision. Like... literally. My eyesight.

I feel it is important to talk about this.
PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW!!!!

I have had so many awkward moments that could be avoided by people reading this.


>.> I'm just looking for a picture of me wearing glasses... I'm actually finding it quite difficult... not because I am blind but because there aren't that many pictures of me wearing glasses...

OK I FOUND ONE! I look super unimpressed. Obviously because I require glasses and neither of my brothers do and ITS TOTALLY UNFAIR AND I DON'T SEE WHY I HAD TO HAVE REALLY BAD EYESIGHT WHEN THEY CAN SEE JUST FINE!!!!!!

It is a tragedy, I'm not gonna lie...

And yes, I am eating a lollipop. I <3 Chupachups. They are my fave!!!!

Anyway back to my story.

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So I have really bad eyesight.

I mean, not bad enough to warrant me wearing glasses 24/7 like most people, but its pretty bad.

I live my life in a nice soft focus.

I can't tell who anyone is until I am a few metres from them.

Its REALLY AWKWARD when I look at the figure of someone in the distance, and they see me looking and then wave at me (because I actually know them but can't see who they are) If I'm with someone I usually ask them if they know the person, more often than not they don't though so that's quite unhelpful...

So I awkwardly wave and its not until I am closer to them that I exclaim: OH ITS YOU!!!! *extreme happy face*

Then I have to explain about my bad eyesight. It happened today. TRUE STORY.

What a laugh.

I also don't look at people when I walk around because I can't see who they are.

For this reason, people think I am a snob and ignore them, they think that I "look right at them and then look away"

But I DON'T LOOK RIGHT AT YOU!

I look at a hazy figure I cannot distinguish. If I look away its because I have looked at the hazy figure and realised its hazy and there is nothing else I can do. I cannot simply stare down every hazy figure that walks around in my direct vicinity now can I???

I know what you're thinking.

If its this bad, why don't I just wear contacts? Or my glasses 24/7 like I CLEARLY need to???

Well, its a matter of principle. And more than that, I just can't be bothered.

Living life in soft focus isn't so bad.

If i wear my glasses all the time I feel awful when I take them off. Everything is way more blurry than it normally would be. Its just gross and I don't like it. 

Living the way I do now I am fine and I can cope with only wearing my glasses when I'm on my laptop/in a lecture/watching a movie or driving.

I used to wear glasses when I played bass on stage, but I stopped doing that.

I just stand closer to the sheet music now, ITS GENIUS!

I also find that if I wear my glasses boys tend to try and rough house with me, tackle me, tickle me into submission or fight me, so the glasses are at risk of breaking. For this reason I just choose to not wear them all the time and endure the awesomeness of being visually impaired.

I also don't wear contacts because I can't.

I tried this summer to get some and I could not get them in or out of my eyes. I made the whole Optometrist place laugh because I carried on about not being able to get them out. It was horrific.

No thanks.

I'm gonna pass on wearing things you have to shove into your eyeballs everyday.

I know some people can hack it, I am not one of them!!!!

So for now, I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing.

If you see me around the place, don't get offended if I don't see you. Approach me, your arms flailing enthusiastically, and eventually I'll see you.

I'm usually pretty excited when I recognize someone as well so you should expect a smile and a "Oh, its you!"

Try it sometime.

(p.s- I actually got new glasses but there are NO PICTURES of them yet. Maybe its for the best, Joel Hoo doesn't think they're very good) 

Martz Complaining About Stuff

Sometimes I feel like I am the saddest girl in the world.


I know I'm not, I'm not even close to it. But that's just how I feel.

I should change this blog name to "The Saddest Girl in the World"

The other day I was having lunch with a friend and I was soooooooo sad, he bought me an ice cream and I trudged down the road with him and I think I must have been the saddest girl to ever have an icecream. I don't even remember why I was so sad.


People say I let my emotions run my life.
I guess I would agree with that.

I just don't know how to feel better though.

I try to explain why I feel sad.

Right now I tell myself its because I miss the dogs and my family and being on the farm.
Honours is getting me down.
I constantly feel like I'm not doing enough.
My friends say things to me that upset me because I'm too sensitive.

I don't know what I am doing.

I don't think I am doing a good enough job with anything.




This sounds like that 'Lost' blog entry I wrote a little while ago...

You probably think all I do is complain.

I do complain a lot.
I'm not the saddest girl in the world, but I am sad.
And I don't deserve to be sad, which makes me more sad.


I'm sorry this wasn't funny.
You were probably expecting something funny.

Do you have any advice for me? Some encouragement? You can tell me that I don't deserve to be sad and have heaps to be grateful for but I already know that. You can tell me anyway though.

I know Jesus loves me and I should cast all my worries onto Him, but its hard.
I don't even know how to do it.
Help?

Ok, I'm going to go now.
Thanks for reading this, and sorry again that it wasn't funny.

Moving Back To Scarfieville

I never took many photos while I was living in Mornington. I have moved out now, and I am quite upset about it to be honest.
Mornington is a world far removed from what you experience in the flats around campus, it is warm and quiet and there are dogs everywhere!
I tried befriending one of the neighbourhood dogs once, I never really saw it again though so I don't think I was very successful.

Regardless, my time in Mornington was everything that I needed for the super intense season of craziness I experienced last semester.
Never have I been so stressed out before in my whole entire life.
I cannot imagine being in a flat while so completely frazzled all of the time.
The fact I was boarding with a family meant that my responsibilities were minimal, and instead of being expected to cook flat dinners, do grocery shopping, wash dishes etc. I could just focus on my work.

IT WAS FREAKING SWEET!

I am so grateful for the family I lived with. They are honestly some of the nicest people I have ever met.


Last night was my first night in the new flat.
I am still settling in. I don't feel comfortable there (how could I?!) but I know its just a matter of time.
I at least got my room all sorted today which will help.
Played some guitar, that's always something that helps to "break in" a new flat.

Its weird being so close to campus, its only a ten minute walk. I didn't actually time it... I need to do that...

Right now I am back in Mornington, I asked if I could have dinner here because our new flat has no food or cooking equipment. I was almost teary-eyed as I walked in before. Only one day away and I miss it so much.

I miss Pipi a lot, the family cat. I befriended her instantly after moving in back in February. For the first day or so I didn't know her name so I just called her Kitty. She used to sleep in my bed while I studied. She's cool. If you have read enough of my blog you would have noticed I am obviously a dog person, but Pipi is all good. I kinda like her a lot.

I'm only going to be at the new flat for basically four and a quarter months, so I'm sure it will be fine. Its nice to be somewhere more accessible, I'm sure we'll be getting visitors (I never really got any in Mornington) so that will be nice. And since my semester will be a billion times less intense than the last one, I should be able to cope without going into a psycho spiral.

I am hopeful for the future of living back in Scarfieville.
Joella and I are going to have epic singalongs, and I am going to steal her dresses.
People should come and visit me.
We don't have internet yet though which is lame... But there's always Uni so I guess we'll see how long we can go without it at the flat... my guess is not very long...
Must procrastinate by looking up funny memes on 9gag...

Anyway. Wrapping this up now.
My time in Mornington was fabulous.
I will look back on it fondly, and I will miss it.
But the family I lived with have already asked me to come back and make them pizza and risotto for dinner sometime in the near future (those are my specialty dishes) so I'm definitely going to be doing that.
And when I do will also sit in front of the heat pump and be nice and warm, and I'll give Pipi a cuddle because I deprived her of my bed to sleep in.

I don't care what other people say about you, Mornington. You're alright.