It is with a saddened heart that I write today.
A little while back I played at Dunedin Elim Church's annual Women's Conference, Replenish.
We were informed that the dress code for all the musicians playing that day was black.
Pretty standard.
I knew immediately which dress I would wear.
My black Glassons dress with the high neckline and leafy lacey patterns on it.
It was perfect.
When the morning of Replenish came, I got up and went to get the dress I had planned to wear.
I scoured my closet for it, but couldn't find it anywhere.
How odd?????
I phoned Lyndon and asked him if I had left it at his place.
Sometimes after church (where I ALWAYS wear a dress) I come back to his house and change into his clothes because they are warmer and comfier. It would be a pretty safe bet that it was hanging up on his clothes rack.
He told me there was a dress hanging up so he would bring it when he came over to drop me off at church.
When he finally arrived, he had my knee-length purple-ish flower dress.
Not the one I was looking for.
I was very disappointed and a little worried.
Where was this black dress????
I put on my other black dress (not as cute) and went to the Conference.
I continued to wonder where the black dress was but tried not to stress too much about it.
On Saturday however, I awoke to the sinking feeling that I hadn't seen my creamy navy spotted dress in awhile either....
In my efforts to find the black dress, I had gone through every single one of my dresses multiple times, and it only just occurred to me that I never saw my OTHER dress either.
I'll be honest. I have a LOT of dresses, so it is very easy for me to lose track of them.
But I do realise if I'm missing one EVENTUALLY!
So I jumped out of bed and rifled through all my dresses with much haste, hoping beyond all hopes that I was mistaken and my super cute spotty dress was hanging safely in my closet.
It wasn't.
At this point I started feeling very worried.
Where in the world were these dresses?
I went through all possibilities of where they could be.
Did I leave them when I visited my parents in Kaitaia?
I haven't been anywhere other than Queenstown this year and I didn't leave them there.
They weren't in any of my bags.
They weren't in a box somewhere.
I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS leave my dresses hanging up with all their other dress friends.
I'm not the kind of person who would put them somewhere else.
So the fact they weren't in the closet meant that something was amiss.
For the first few months of the year my bedroom door had no lock on it, and I am rarely ever home.
The front door isn't consistently locked either.
Did someone come in and steal my dresses??!?!?!
I could think of no other answer.
Before losing my mind completely with grief over my lost dresses, I called my mother to ask if by any chance the dresses were in Kaitaia.
She was happy to hear from me and went on a tirade about the FIFA World Cup and how Brazil was going to beat Columbia because they pay people off and how the players are huge showmen when another player lightly taps them and they act like they are in sooo much pain.
She eventually detailed all the clothes hanging up in my old bedroom, the dresses I had lost were not there.
:-(
At this point I started crying.
My poor lost dresses. I hardly knew them.
I was so very sad.
They weren't my favourite dresses, or my most comfy, or my most expensive, but I still treasured them.
They held special sentimental value and I would never have given them up unless I gained 10kg and couldn't fit them anymore.
Maybe not even then!!!!!!!!
So so so very sad.
It saddens me more that I am trying to live a minimalist life but when it comes to dresses I CAN'T HELP MYSELF!
I WANT TO BUY AAAAAALLLLL THE DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!
What is more sad was later that day, after Lyndon accompanied me on a frenzy of dress-buying to make up for the dress-sized hole in my heart, I realised that ANOTHER one of my dresses was gone.
I hadn't gotten any new dresses since my birthday last year.
That's over six months of not buying any new dresses and is a HUGE accomplishment for me.
I know I am going on and on about dresses.
Maybe only girls will understand. SOME girls.
I guess anytime you lose something, or its taken from you, its hard.
As much as I try not to be materialistic, it is difficult to lose things you have paid for and which meant something to you.
On Sunday I decided to just let it go and get over it.
Material possessions do not define me.
I asked for God's peace to fill me.
And if someone DID steal my dresses, I ask God to bless them and for them to come to know Him the way I do.
I am thankful that I even had those dresses.
They were good dresses.
I will miss them.
I couldn't find any pictures of the third missing dress, but I bought it when Joella worked at Farmers.
She picked it out for me.
It was navy blue with strappy things over the neckline.
It had pockets and was super comfy.
It was only $15.
I don't remember with whom or when I bought my black dress, but it was from Glassons.
I wore it on my birthday last year and to a gig at the Hub.
The creamy one with navy spots was also from Glassons.
I bought it as a 22nd birthday present to myself when I was with Jaimee Northcott.
I wore it a few times when I played gigs, most recently at Samstock.
I may never know what happened to these dresses, and while I am sad, I hope you can see that I am trying my best to move past it.
I will probably never stop loving my dress-children, but hopefully I can learn not to find my happiness in them, and realise that all earthly possessions will one day cease to exist.
It's what you DO, not what you WEAR, that really matters.
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