I Don't Like Chocolate

Ello blog,

I felt compelled to write this. I wanted to, but wasn't sure. Then my flatmate Katie said I should definitely do it, so now I am.
I am listening to some awesome praise music while I'm writing this so there is a chance I will get distracted and not make proper sentence structures. I am also sitting in the living room while Katie makes her dinner, so there is also that contributing factor to me potentially not making any sense.

Is it rude of me to write this while I'm in a room with her? She probably wouldn't think so. Well she told me to write this so I'd say no.




So, chocolate.

Girls go crazy over the stuff.

Most of my friends, Joella especially, are clear examples of this.

If she gets given chocolate, it is demolished in a matter of minutes, or collection of minutes, depending on the size. Off the top of my head I know that Chloe is the same.
Goodbye chocolate, it was nice knowing you.




This is NOT the case with me.

People give me chocolate, four months later, it is still sitting on my desk, unopened.

I don't want to eat it.
I don't feel like eating it, ever.
If I end up eating it, its only because I figure I ought to. Like the chocolate would feel bad if I didn't eat it after four months of it just sitting there.




Chocolate is also a great gift idea, I'm sure you know this.

People give me chocolate as a present.

I don't eat it.

Well, that's not true. Sometimes I'll have one piece every few days, if its expensive chocolate, like those Belgian ones. Or Ferrero Rocher.



If its a slab of chocolate (like the Black Forest one sitting in my flat's treat cupboard for the past two months) it will not be consumed.



I buy chocolate, thinking I will want it as a nice treat sometime, and then that time never comes.

I don't like chocolate.

At all.

Its average.

How are people so obsessed with it??????

Sometimes I accept people's offers of chocolate because I just want to fit in and be like everyone else. But if I'm being honest, I don't really want it.



Last year I used to give all my chocolate to my friend Matt because I didn't want it.

I still don't want the chocolate I somehow obtain. Seriously, who wants it? Because I don't. SO MANY CHOCOLATES IN MY ROOM THAT I WILL TAKE A WHOLE YEAR TO EAT!!!




I will be frank, there are certain TIMES OF THE MONTH when I do crave a bit of the ol' chocolate, but these moments are few and far between. I realise now its not enough to warrant a trip to the supermarket. One time I wanted Tim Tam slams SO BADLY that I went out and got some. But this has only happened once.

That packet of Tim Tam's still has a singular Tim Tam waiting to be consumed. I had the pack with only two biscuits removed sitting in my bedside table for many months. I slowly made my way through the packet over the last month. Slamming three Tim Tams at a time. But the last one has been in there for a while. And I don't want to eat it.





Its like the Black Forest that I had offered to people back in.. March? We ate the first two rows while watching a movie, then I put it away and never had any more of it.

I don't want it.


I guess you are getting the picture.

Martz does not like chocolate.

I tell people this and they still buy it for me.

They forget I am a rare breed of girl that does not enjoy chocolate... / a rare breed of human.

I must be very strange to not like the stuff.







You must understand that I do not have a sweet tooth.
I have a salty one.

Put a hunk of biltong in front of me, a piece of soy-drenched sushi or another savoury treat of some description and I will surely devour it.

That's why I eat all the chips, you see.
Because I don't want to eat the chocolate.

I should have named this blog "The Girl That Doesn't Eat Chocolate", maybe people would give it to me less then.




But anyway, its still nice that people want to give me presents so I'm thankful. But please, if you can help it, don't insult me by offering chocolate to me. Instead, why don't you help me out and take the chocolate off my hands?? :)

Because I don't want it.

Like, actually.




When I finally get married one day, I hope my husband will never buy me chocolate.
Instead, he can give me a box of savouries. I prefer the spring rolls to the samosas, but both will do.

Chocolate I will never eat

Tell me, do you feel like eating chocolate now after seeing all those pictures of chocolate? Because I don't ;)